Udderly Smooth Hands with Udder Cream
With a warning like the warning below, it's hard to imagine wanting to put Udderly Smooth Udder Cream on your body, let alone your milking cow:
Do not use on parts affected with cow pox, as such use may contribute to the spread of the infection.
Udderly Smooth is indeed strong enough for a woman, but made for a cow. But don't worry, it's completely human safe and is even packaged for women (and men) in the cosmetics section of your local drugstore. I've been exposed to Udderly Smooth for quite some time (perhaps because I spent my formative years in Petaluma where people actually do use udder cream on their cows).
It's greaseless and won't stain and the best part is that if you get passed the name and don't care about fancy smelling perfumes or colors, you're getting a great 4 ounce lotion for $1.99.